As you get older, you begin to reflect on things; be it work, business, being a spouse and a parent; you come to realize that where you are going is far more important than where you are coming from. Everything you have accomplished so far was once something you aspired towards. There’s sacrifice and, oh my, a lot of sweat. You place your sights on what is ahead, and you do all you can to align your abilities to the future you desire. You take the time to go the extra mile at work but most of all you strive for self improvement.

Surely, you may not think there is a need to go through the whole process of educating yourself again after how many years of going through the schooling system, but let’s play devil’s advocate a little bit. 

Apart from courses taken for certification purposes, you know, the ICANs, and other association examinations, is there any need to take any other course? Hmm? We certainly don’t know everything under the sun, and what harm could come from not just doing well at work and in life but doing so with contentment?  We can always learn of a better to interact with others in professional and recreational settings, how to engage and bring out the best in other people and even, in the most basic sense, how to build your self-confidence. Don’t knock the necessity of self-improvement. Don’t feel weary that you are too old or too much time has passed.  “Confidence is to know what you don’t know, identifying those who do and being willing to get the knowledge from them”.  We are all on path towards a grand future, and while we may not be able to control the things around us,  

“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.” Aldous Huxley. 

We should never be so content, that we don’t even try to be better.

It is funny how when you are younger, you are in such a hurry to grow up; you want to finish school, have your own home, get a few cars, marry well, maybe have a few children and it’s smooth sailing from there. I think reality doesn’t really set in until you get into university. You realize the full gravity of what these new responsibilities would require and you also realize that formal education will only take you so far. Most of the times, after years of schooling, people seem more reluctant to take extra classes, improve on their knowledge of things or expand and polish off rough exteriors. There are the excuses of time, money or other responsibilities that keep popping up but there is also the fact that we are afraid of evaluating ourselves too closely, because we might not like what we see.

No matter who you are or what you do, never be afraid of self improvement. I remember reading somewhere that the reason why people do not like being taught is because they do not want to be perceived as inferior.  It takes a level of vulnerability to understand you need to improve yourself, but it takes determination and a whole lot of perspiration to go beyond feeling inferior and becoming a force to be reckoned with.

Author and entrepreneur John Rohn once said “Formal education will make you a living; self-improvement will make you a fortune”.

A confident person; I recently read that the mark of a confident person is not in being cocky or smug but in having a good self-image and believing you deserve the best. Whether we choose to admit it or not, we are not all confident. I am not implying we are shy or don’t know how to speak to people. I mean most of the time, we believe we do not deserve any better than what we have now. We are so used to just getting by that we get a little deflated along the way. You learn not to get too upset when things don’t go our way; we tamp down our emotions so things don’t hurt us as much as they could. The only problem is that in doing so, you shut down bits of yourself that you don’t want others to see, and if you keep it down long enough, you become afraid of what they might think if they do see it. Thus you lose a bit of yourself and with that, your self confidence.

One thing we might not realize is that while we lock down one part of our personalities, it is very possible we might, unintentionally, lock down on other parts of ourselves. It does not matter how much you accumulate, who you end up with romantically or professionally, where you work or where you live, you will never be truly content, much less happy. Without going any further down the dark wormhole that could lead to depression, let’s consider this. Most incidents of self abuse and self destruction come from not finding a balance within you. Being able to understand your emotions and better yet manage them is the first step. With the right help and guidance, you learn how to look within, understand why you feel a certain way and not mask it but handle it in a healthy way.

There is a weight that comes on me when I hear of a life lost through suicide or the sudden violent outburst of someone you though was a loved one; it’s like “what could push you so far as to get you to that point”, to hurt yourself or kill another person and how unfortunate that there was no way to help them pull through. In the Nigerian society, we live by the code of just power through. It’s time we gave a chance to feel more and manage our emotions better. It will make for a more content life and a more centered existence. Take a chance on discovering you, take a chance on being the real you.

For details on taking part in our training on understanding and manage your emotions and getting to understand who you are and building productive interpersonal relations, please contact us on any of the numbers (+234) 814 4040 474, (+234) 810 5379 848, (+234) 803 4747 120

Don’t you hate it when your greetings go unanswered? There you are trying to make an effort to be civil and that sales clerk, receptionist or boss man behind the desk does not even acknowledge it. Typical. I say typical because that is the world we live in today. Everyone is on the move; rushing to work, trying to make that appointment, making a school run and pretty much rushing from one end to another. We have forgotten the simple act of saying Good morning, Good afternoon or just thank you. This is spilling over to the next generation, who don’t see the need for courtesy, after all no one around them does it. We are losing out on social opportunities because our “social senses” have been dulled and by effect losing out on potentially promising relationships, professionally and socially. It will take time to rewire and reprogram ourselves, but think of all the new doors that will open up when we do. For the moment, before you sign up for any of our courses geared to mold you into the sound intellectual you would like to be , I dare you to be courteous to the people you meet today. You will find a whole new world open up to you.